Spirit
by MistressDarkness
Summary: Richard is visited by Kahlan’s ghost during the season finale.


_**Spirit**_

**_author's note: I wrote this story a few weeks ago for a challenge over at the Confessor Seeker Society forum. This is my first one-shot. I had to finish this while I was sick with pneumonia, so hopefully it still came out okay. Hope you enjoy, please leave a review and check out my other two stories :)_**

**Title: Spirit  
Author: Mistress Darkness  
Characters: Kahlan, Richard, Shota, Cara  
Rating: PG 13  
Timeline: During the season finale when Richard visits Kahlan's coffin in the future.  
Story Type: Angst, Drama  
Spoilers: Season Finale  
Short summary: Richard is visited by Kahlan's ghost during the season finale.**

For a fleeting moment, Kahlan was blissfully happy but she knew it would never last; it never did. She had spent so many years apart from him, her time with Richard only felt like a small moment in her life, yet she could remember him as clear as day. If only she could have lived long enough to see him one last time, to touch his face, have him hold her like he had in what seemed like a lifetime ago. If only she could have told him how she felt, say those three simple words that held so much meaning behind them. If only…

Richard's eyes grew wide when Shota pulled back, having whispered that the new Lord Rahl was afraid of his mother's ghost. He stared at the older woman as she led them to Kahlan's final resting place. His feet froze in place, suddenly becoming cement blocks. Her figure carved onto her coffin caught his breath. Tears fought their way to his eyes, threatening to spill over once more. He felt as if someone was chipping away at his heart, piece by piece; the same as man had chiseled the stone effigy. Seeing this made it final; Kahlan was really gone. He would never see her again. No, he couldn't think like that. He had to get back to his own time. At the very least he needed to save her from this fate he had damned her to.

The Seeker trekked forward, dragging his limbs towards her, forcing himself to keep moving. Debris littered the ground. The once magnificent People's Palace was nothing more than ruins. Richard was in his own world, cut off from reality. He proceeded in a daze, not even noticing when his leg grazed a D'Haran war helmet laying haphazardly on the floor. Apparently Master Rahl did not care who was left inside the palace when it burned.

His knees buckled next to her coffin, his body crashing forward into the dust and dirt layering the tiles below. Muscular arms rose up, shaking. Finger tips barely touched the smooth stone. He jumped at how cold it was. "Kahlan…" he whispered. A rogue tear slipped down his cheek, hanging off of his chin before finally coming to rest on the Mother Confessor's grave. His eyes closed tight against the pain that threatened to overwhelm him once more.

Kahlan watched from the distance as the Seeker caressed her stone effigy, as if it was her. His hand petting her hair like all the times he'd smoothed it out for her, tucking a lone strand behind her ear. His gentle caring touch would send shivers down her spine. She shut her eyes, imagining with all of her might that it was she he was touching, that she was the stone figure laying before him. She sighed in contentment, feeling the back of his hand lightly resting against her cheek.

"Richard…" a soft feminine voice called his name.

He jolted upright; he would know that voice anywhere. "Kahlan?!" he called into the distance, believing his mind was playing games on him.

The confessor's eyes shot open; she had accidentally given away her position. She gracefully stepped out from behind a cracked pillar. "I'm here…" she whispered, tears forming in her own eyes. A heavenly white glow illuminated her.

He took one step forward, afraid what he was seeing wasn't reality. His breath caught in his throat, "Is it really…?" he mumbled. She nodded before he ran towards her to envelope her in a hug.

"Richard wait! You can't-" Kahlan tried to warn him, but it was too late. He stumbled into her, going through her corporal figure. She spun quickly to face him again. His face fell, realizing she was here, but he couldn't touch her. "I'm sorry," her voice cracked, barely audible. He shook his head, a sad smile on his face. Richard's hand rose, holding it still with his palm pointed towards her. She understood immediately, raising her own. Their palms floated in the air, close enough to be touching were Kahlan not just a spirit. Water leaked from the corners of both of their eyes, reveling in each other's presence. In their minds, their hands were connected, their souls joined again. Even if their hands could not feel the touch, their hearts could. Warmth spread over them both. The moment felt like hours, but it only lasted a mere minute. The two females in the background dared not to interrupt the couple before them.

Richard finally spoke, "I guess even in death, touch is still our main problem."

Kahlan chuckled sadly, choking on tears. "You always could make me laugh even in the worst of circumstances." Their arms lowered back to their sides. They shared a knowing smile.

Shota brought her arm across her stomach, bowing low. "Good afternoon, Queen Kahlan."

The spirit looked past Richard to the sorceress, "Shota, I've told you before, you don't have to call me that anymore. Just Kahlan is fine," she kindly told the old woman.

The woman rose, "Of course my Queen."

Kahlan smiled brightly, shaking her head at the other woman. She refocused her attention on Richard, "No matter how many times I tell her, she still calls me by that title."

The young man continued to stare at the beauty before him. His eyes roved all over her, drinking in the sight. He noticed for the first time what she was wearing. Her ruby dress flowed elegantly down her form. Brown locks were pinned to the back of her head. "You look gorgeous." Instead of the years taking away from her beauty, they only added to it. A new air of wisdom was visible in her features.

The confessor looked down, her cheeks turning a shade of red almost dark enough to match her gown. "I would have preferred to have died in my white confessor dress, so that it would have moved on to the spirit world with me, but even in death I'm not allowed that small comfort. Only what you last had on your body leaves the world of the living. But I am able to remove certain objects." She reached her hands up, taking pins out of her hair. Her head shook from side to side, letting the wavy strands gracefully cascade over her shoulders. Her special smile shown brightly just for him.

He returned it, glad to see her familiar hair style and that years of servitude under Rahl had not corrupted her soul. She was still the Kahlan he knew and loved even after all this time. "You would look beautiful wearing any dress." The smirk dropped suddenly, the realization of everything she must have went through bombarding his mind. "I'm so sorry Kahlan-"

She brought up a finger to stop him in his tracks. "Do not apologize. I was never his queen, I was always your confessor."

Richard's lips curled up, pleased with her comment. "And I will always be your seeker." His face returned to normal, "but that doesn't erase what happened to you. I should never have convinced you to confess me," agony laced his words.

"Richard no, it was not your fault. I agreed to it; we could have never known this outcome. Do not blame yourself, I chose my own destiny, and I chose to help you."

"You may forgive me, but I can never forgive myself."

Kahlan sighed, knowing the truth behind his words, "Well then maybe you won't have to. You can still get back home." She nodded in Shota's direction. "I knew you were still alive, she told me after Rahl forced her into captivity like me. Richard, you can go back still, to your own time, to a time before all of this happened. I played my part in the future so you could rewrite history."

Richard titled his head slightly, trying to take in all of the information. He glanced between the spirit and the older woman. "But how?"

A deep sigh escaped Kahlan's lips, steeling herself for what she had to reveal to the one she loved. "Richard, please understand, I did this to help you. I was the last remaining confessor. Lord-" She stopped herself short, not wanting the seeker to hear her referring to Darken Rahl by his respective title. After so many years, it had become a habit. "Darken Rahl gave me a choice: I could either rot in my cell next to Shota, or I could become his queen." She shook her head, "I didn't even have to think twice; there was no way I would ever be his queen. But then Shota told me how you could return to your own time. You need to combine the magical combination of Orden, agiel, and confession. She told me when you would return…" her voice trailed off. "I've waited for you for 58 long years." Her hand reached out to touch his face, to make sure he was real. It recoiled back towards her chest before she met flesh. He was so close to her, yet still just out of reach. She laughed sadly, "and here I was worried I would be an old woman when I next saw you." Her watery eyes held a lifetime of pain. "Shota told me Rahl would never keep me alive that long." She motioned to herself, "Obviously she was right. I knew you needed the power of confession, so I agreed to…to be Darken Rahl's queen." Shame crept into her features. "By doing so, I was able to keep him from murdering every member of the resistance, or at least the ones he hadn't already gotten to. He expected me to be his wife, and I agreed so I could pass on the power of confession to the next generation, so that my child may one day help you return home." Tears flowed freely down. "I'm disgusted with myself for sleeping with that bastard…I wish there was another way, but there wasn't."

Richard immediately stepped forward, wanting to hug her, to hold her, to ease her hurt. "No, don't think like that. You did what you could to help me. Even when I did not exist in the same time you did, you still tried to help me. It's okay. You don't need to explain anymore. I met a man who told me about the new Lord Rahl. It's alright." He felt so helpless, unable to comfort the one person in the world he wished to have in his arms more than anything.

Blue eyes stared into his brown ones, amazed that he had already found out Nicholas was her son. "If I had known I would bear a male, I would have never agreed to it. This world has crumbled around me under his command. I don't know what went wrong," she seemed genuinely puzzled. "My sister had a boy, I shouldn't have been able to. All I can think is that Rahl did something to me." Richard's blood boiled at the very thought of Rahl doing anything to Kahlan. "I wanted to kill him as soon as he was born, but Rahl wouldn't have it. I figured if I couldn't dispose of him, then I maybe I could use my influence to keep him on the right path, to stop him from becoming a bloodthirsty monster." Her voice broke, "You should have seen him Richard, he was such a sweet boy. He shared his toys, gave me kisses…I loved him as my son, not as Darken Rahl's spawn. But it wasn't enough, it could never be enough." Kahlan's body shook, trying to control her emotions. "When he began using his powers for evil, I knew what I had to do. I was just about to kill him when he turned towards me in his sleep. Every moment I had ever spent with him in the eleven years of his life flashed before me. I paused, and that was all it took for me to get caught." She wiped the dampness on her face away with a brush of her hand. "I…I still had hope for him. And that was when he asked Rahl not to kill me…that was when he asked to do it himself." She finally collapsed to her knees, the anguish she had held in for so long came flooding out in heaving sobs. "Richard, I tried to kill my own son. Dear spirits, was it the act of his own mother turning on him that sent him over the edge?"

Richard's own eyes began to water at her story, knowing how broken the whole ordeal had made her. "Kahlan. Kahlan look at me," he whispered, putting his hand underneath her chin. She raised her head, glancing down at the gesture she could not feel. "You did what you had to do, you tried beyond reason to make everything as right as you could in this world. I couldn't be more proud of you. You never surrendered to Rahl, even in the face of overwhelming adversity. You were brave. You fooled the whole palace, making everyone believe I really was dead when you knew the truth. And you passed on your power, so I can get back to you in my present time, so I can prevent any of this from ever happening to you."

Looking into his eyes, she believed every word he spoke. Even as a spirit, she could see the truth. He would go home, to try to save her from this future Rahl had damned her to. She sniffled, "Thank you Richard. I don't know what I ever did in my life to deserve a man like you."

A smile graced his lips, "It is me who has been blessed by your presence. I'd be lost without you. I _am_ lost without you." He feigned confusion, "So when you said 'dear spirits' just now, does that mean you are now praying to yourself?" Richard's attempt to lighten the mood worked. Kahlan's giggle brightened the entire room.

Cara shifted her weight, clearly uncomfortable with the words being spoken and acts of love. It was something she couldn't understand. "So you are saying that the only way to get back to our own time is to seek the help of the new Lord Rahl? Last I knew, we were on our way to kill him." Her agiel rolled between her fingers, sending comforting pain waves throughout her arm.

The illuminated figure stood back up straight, her hands clasped in front of her. She was the essence of the Mother Confessor. "Cara," she smiled. "I understand your need to kill Nicholas. I too share that hunger. He is no longer the son I love, but a tyrant who must be stopped. But you and Richard are no match for him. Your best chance of defeating the new Lord Rahl is by making sure he is never born."

The Mord-Sith seemed unsettled with this advice, but found it to be worthy of heeding. "Why are you not mad at me? I am the one who pressed an agiel into your seeker's neck and caused him to be transported through time. I am the one who tried to kill him. I am the one who caused your wizard to perish and you to be captured. You should be screaming at me at the very least. Why do you seem so calm?" Richard's body language revealed himself to be wondering the same exact thing.

"Do not misunderstand me Cara, I was angry at you for a very long time. For years, I wished for your death, I wished for it to be at my hands. But I have had a lot of time to come to terms with what you did. If it wasn't you, surely another Mord-Sith would have taken your place. I am glad it was you who traveled with Richard, you are strong and wise. You use your head more than the others; you think before you act. For what it is worth, I tried to save your sisters from Nicholas' wrath. Unfortunately there was not much I could do in my current state of being." Kahlan bowed her head in regret to the woman clad in red leather.

If it was possible, Cara seemed even more taken aback. "You…you tried to help Mord-Sith? Why? I knew Denna, and I know what she did to the seeker. Why would you want to help us?" Richard watched the exchange, waiting for Kahlan's answer. After everything Denna had put him through, both of them, why would Kahlan even think of…and then it hit him.

Kahlan's gaze shifted to Richard for a moment, "For the same reason Richard let Denna live. After living with them for so long, I came to understand your sisters better, and they came to understand me. Two were assigned to me as bodyguards: Triana and Bertha. Darken Rahl wanted to make sure no harm came to me while I was carrying his child. We clashed at first; I blamed them for losing Richard while they blamed me for losing you, Cara. I cannot call what we had a friendship, but more of a mutual understanding. After my death, I still kept in contact with them. We all saw what Nicholas was becoming. He became our common enemy. Before Master Rahl even found out about our bond, he ordered them all killed. I overheard him and warned Triana. She was able to gather your sisters as well as some supplies before the first battle cry rang loud and true outside of your tower." Her eyes seemed distant as the memory came back to her. "They did not deserve what happened to them, no one does. Before she passed away, Triana asked me to keep searching for you in this world, while she looked for you in the spirit world. She always believed you were still alive Cara." She turned back towards Richard, "And you as well. During their final moments, they prayed that whatever had happened that day, that you two were okay and would avenge their deaths. The last side they were on was that of the seeker's." She smiled knowingly.

Cara's demeanor faltered. "You knew Triana?" she asked quietly.

Kahlan nodded. "Cara, you are now the last living Mord-Sith, Nicholas is the last living Confessor, and Richard has reappeared with the three boxes of Orden. Your sisters may be gone in this future, but they are waiting for you to go back to your own time. Don't think about this as helping Richard, think about it as helping them."

Cara remained quiet for a moment before finally voicing her agreement. "Fine, but this future pact you had with my sister will not hold in the past. They will not know you."

"I understand. I will not remember either. Thank you Cara, whether you want to help us or not, thank you."

Richard looked between the two, not wanting to break the silent link the two women had formed. When he was sure their conversation was over, he looked over to Cara, giving her his own gratitude. He turned back towards the ghost before him. One question was still plaguing him. "Kahlan, why have you not moved on to the Underworld?"

The soft light emanating off of her body made her look angelic. "I couldn't move on without knowing for sure that you knew how to get back home. The only three people who knew you were still alive were me, Shota, and Alice. After Alice and I were murdered, I was afraid Shota would not live long enough to tell you."

Richard's face dropped. "But you must have been here for nearly forty years!"

She nodded patiently, "It's been a long wait, but it was worth it." Her lips curved up, showing her white teeth. "Fifty-eight years later and I finally get to see you again. It may seem like mere days or weeks to you, but for me, it was literally a lifetime and then some."

"First I curse you to live under Rahl's command and even in the afterlife I prevent you from moving on." The brunette swore under his breath.

"Everything I did, was by my own choice. I could have gone to the Underworld if I had wanted, but my business here was not yet finished. If I could do it all again, I would make the same choices I have now. I don't have any doubts in what I have done, and neither should you. Do not regret what has been done. Because of my choices, you now have a chance to go back and make sure none of this ever happens. I never need to know about this future." She smirked, "Besides, I've had Shota to keep me company."

One eyebrow twitched upwards, "You and Shota are friends now? What about the prophecy? She wanted you dead and gone!"

"Not anymore. Ever since Rahl burned down the palace, Shota has been the only company I have. I'm confined to this place; I can never leave the palace grounds. That is why Nicholas left. He had hoped that by destroying the People's Palace, he could somehow destroy me too. Little good that did him." She looked over at the sorceress rummaging through an old wardrobe that had the door blown off the hinges. "I've been trying to help her find the key to her Rada'Han," she brought her see-through hands up in front of their faces, "but it's difficult when I can't move any objects." Her eyes held a depth that he had never seen in them before.

Richard beckoned forward, "But there's more you want to say, and it's not about Shota."

Dark hair shielded her eyes from his, but they could not hide the small smirk. "You could always read me better than I could read others." She inhaled deeply, "I…I fulfilled the prophecy." At his confused expression she continued, tilting her head up so that her curls revealed her features. Shame was evident throughout them. "No, not that prophecy Richard. The one about me betraying you. It wasn't when I left and you were captured by Denna, it was this…and so much more." Her frame shook. "My becoming Rahl's queen, sleeping with him, bearing his child, allowing a male confessor to be released into this world-"

"Stop." That one simple command held such authority that Kahlan halted her words mid-sentence. 'Stop," he spoke softer this time. "You could never betray me. We've had this conversation before. What you did, you did for me, and for the people. Every move you made was to help me. Don't you see? You stayed true to me, and your mission."

A long moment passed between the two. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I had let go when the Mord-Sith arrived? If you had been able to use the magic of Orden to command them all? Rahl appeared soon after. You could have won."

"No, not like that. Orden would have consumed me. That is why I needed confession in the first place."

She shook her head, "All we would have to do is move the boxes, and you would have been freed again."

He sighed, "If only it were that simple." A smile graced his lips, "You don't give me enough credit Kahlan. Don't you think my first command would be for no one to touch the boxes?" Seriousness returned. "Jennsen wouldn't have been there to save me. You did the right thing by hanging on to me, or else this world would know a different tyrant." His face hardened, "and I would never want to hurt you. I can't control myself when I'm under Orden's power."

A connection lit up in the confessor's face, "Like I couldn't control the Con Dar." He nodded.

Richard shifted his weight to his right foot. His mouth opened slightly, before closing once more, unsure of how to phrase his next question. "Kahlan," He looked down, before meeting her icy eyes once more. "There's just one more thing I need to know."

"Anything Richard."

He steeled himself for the answer, and the reaction his question would provoke. "What did…I mean, how did you…become a spirit?"

Kahlan's demeanor automatically hid her feelings from that dreadful night. Her face returned to the stoic posture she had been trained to portray: her confessor's face. Richard's heart fell a little, hating when she withdrew into herself like that, cutting herself off from the world she cared so much about. "No," she said forcefully, "that is the one thing I will not tell you. If you go back to your present time, it's something you don't need to worry about." Her voice betrayed her emotion-less face, "Nor is it something do I want you to have images of in your mind. You don't need those nightmares." She felt like she was slowly falling off of a cliff she couldn't climb back up, "How could he be so callous about killing his own mother?"

The seeker's eyes became glossy, "Kahlan, he's not you. His evil did not come from you."

"Yes it did! He's evil because he's a male confessor!" Her confessor's face slipped, revealing the hurt she had tried to bury back down.

"No, it's not. His dark side comes from his father. He's a Rahl, not an Amnell. He took Darken's last name, not yours. I have no doubt in my mind if he was our son, your influence would have been enough to save him. He would have both of our good natures in him and none of that taint. I have no doubt Denee's son would have been on our side as well." Against all odds, she still couldn't help but believe him. He had no doubts in his mind, so why she should have any in hers? She had never doubted him before, and she wouldn't start now. He heart fluttered when he said "our son." She had day-dreamed for many years about what would have been. She imagined her and Richard somehow having a family. After Nicholas was born, she imagined Nic was Richard's little boy, and not Rahl's. "I will go back to my own time, and I will save you from all of this. You have my word as the seeker."

Finally, the special smile she saved from him shown through the sadness and gloom. "How do you always remain so confident when it seems there is no hope?"

"I learned from the best, I learned from you Kahlan." They stared into each others eyes, communicating much more than spoken words ever could. His voice came out as a whisper, "I want nothing more than to hug you right now."

"I know, me too." Her head turned towards the broken shards of glass by the window. The sun was going down; they had wasted enough time. "You must go now Richard. As much as I would love for you to stay here with me, you must return to your own time. And to a Kahlan who knows nothing about this world. She's waiting for you; I'm waiting for you."

Richard nodded. An idea danced in his eyes as he walked over to her sarcophagus. He kneeled down once more, in the spot she had found him. He leaned in slowly, placing a gentle kiss on the stone effigy's cheek. Kahlan closed her eyes, imaging his soft lips on that exact spot on her own flesh. "I love you Kahlan Amnell. I always will. Never doubt that."

The sun shown off of her already illuminated form, light dancing in her watery eyes. "I love you too Richard Cypher. You now know my love for you can never be tainted, no matter what happens to me. Take that knowledge with you back to your time. Share it with me." Her hand came up to her mouth, blowing a kiss towards Richard. Her hand remained outstretched as bright orbs floated around her. She slowly disappeared. Her spirit was finally going to rest in the Underworld. Richard had at last set her free. After she was gone, a faint whisper sounded through the halls, "Thank you my love…"

The seeker stood up, tears flowing freely. His eyes never left the spot he had last seen her. Neither woman dared to speak. After a few minutes, he wiped away the liquid dripping off of his chin. He put on the face of a fighter steeled for battle. He had a new mission: not the save himself, but to save Kahlan from the fate Darken Rahl had forced her into. He turned to Shota, a corner of his mouth turning upward, "I have a plan."


End file.
